The real and only truth.

Somethings in this life are just straight up hard. But God said things for us would not be easy, that would not be life.

There in things in life that are worth fighting for; your friends, your family or even love. That last part sounds like something out of a movie, but when you actually experience those deep emotions for another person; it becomes a reality. When faced with a situation that requires a large amount of determination, courage and action; the truth of the matter is that it will hard. It demands so much of the people involved. I am in a situation like this and to be real, it's taking so much of my determination and courage; but I'm not going to give up when things get hard. I know that when I am done facing this trial, I'll come out of it changed, having learned something and happy. But with every trial baby steps are a must and have been the hardest part so far; even though I am still enduring this trial, I know it is far from over.

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life; which God has promised to those that love him." James 1:12

God puts us through trials that He knows we can handle. God loves everything good and even though we may see the situation as "Why would God let this happen to me?" or " I wish it was over so I can get to outcome and feel better" God is working with us, through us in the trials we face in our lives. And even though we are facing these trials and we may feel alone, God is always with us. He endured what we are enduring, He knows how we are feeling and that's why we need to turn to Him in our times of need. It is also a smart idea to go to someone whom you trust who is older; like a parent or a leader of the church. Sometimes going to your peers will hinder you more than help you.

And with that said (as a side note) Be careful to whom you tell your inner most thoughts, secrets or even joys with. We are all human, and we all use or mouths for good and evil. Sometimes things are just left better unsaid and kept to yourself or kept between the people involved.

And I tell you this, that you must give an account on judgment day of every idle word you speak. (Matthew 12:36)

But when we turn to God, we can tell him our joys, thoughts, inner most secrets and we know he will keep them safe.

Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here's what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn't wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn't wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn't wisdom. It's the furthest thing from wisdom—it's animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats.

(James 3:13-16)

Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. (James 3:17-18)

And here it is, The truth of Me.

Since starting this blog, I do not feel that I've put any of my true self within these writings. But today is the day:)

Some many things have led me to the place where I currently am. So many roads that I thought were ludicrous, that were littered with tears and laughter, I know realize were part of God's bigger picture for me. God knew what he was doing when he sent me to Florida. I've made this town my home. This place of acceptance, of love, and of friendship. So many things that lie in my path, just wanting for me to take hold and cherish. I normally would be scared, then run away but these past years have taught me to just stick with it, not give up.

These years have brought me all kinds of things but the best thing I can say my life has thrown at me has been my friends and the chance to really feel love. A love that contains passion, sincerity, and security. There have been friendships that have lasted and friendships that faded, but each one giving me something that slowly guided and built me.

It's truly amazing how God works. He give us everything we could possibly want or need. Our God provides. In this current time in my life, I have experienced God's love and grace. It's a peace that just washes over your soul leaving all the other things behind. Like tonight at work, the other girls that I work with like to talk and gossip especially now that there is big issue regarding one of my fellow hostesses. I've been trying to stay out of it and just listen. But God just spoke to me tonight and gave me the strength to just listen and realize how blessed I really am and how I do not need to be a part of that. This was a feeling I fell in love with; true peace.

We all have the one issue that stays with us always. Mine is an issue with my heart. It's been there for a year or so and seems to ever so vibrant has the first day it came into my life. I've talked to many people about it and getting perspective. In the past few weeks, God has shown up to help me handle this. So here is what I've come up with, with of course the "Big Guy Upstair's" help. I have feelings that seem to never end and in all reality I don't want them to end, That's why Ive been holding on so tightly this issue or now I can truthfully say this person.

But what else God has taught me that trust, truth and just the two people involved are the only things that really matter. A person very near dear to my heart said, That it should always be about me and him, no one else matters because they don't know how we feel about each other or what we both go through.

I've never could come out and say what my heart feels or what I'm struggling with. We all put on that mask sometimes, well mine just came off and it will stay off:)

We are not all perfect but that is why God is with us and we have His love within us always. He loves us just the way we are!! It just sometimes take something big for God to reveal Himself to us. We are definitely stubborn, but that is how God made us.

:) Well that's it for now.

...A dream is a wish your heart makes.

Quotes.

[simple rules of life:

1. If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it.

2. If you do not ask, then the answer will always be no.

3. If you do not step forward you will always be in the same place]

[You have to admit that love doesn't give you
the license to own a person forever.
Only a chance to enjoy someone's company for a moment.]

[If something is not happening for you,
it doesn't mean its never going to happen. It means you're not ready for it.]

[When something goes wrong, it's more important to decide
who's going to start fixing things rather than,
thinking who you're going to blame for it.]

[It's pathetic how we can't live with the things we can't understand. How we need everything labeled and explained and deconstructed.]

[If you love someone, tell them. If they don't love you back, at least you won't go through life wondering what would have been. ]

[I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that this is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and to try to give some of it back, because i believe in it completely and utterly...Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because, if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived.]

[lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man]

.. and then the unexpected happened, I got swept away

Ahh Summertime I've missed you so.

Life is simply awesome right now, couldn't ask for anything more:)

Uno.

-Be daring, be different, be impractical. Be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play it safers, the creature of the commonplace and the slaves of the ordinary.

Cecil Beaton

Dos.

- Alice: This is impossible.

The Mad Hatter: Only if you believe it is.

Alive in Wonderland

Tres.

- Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it.

American history X

Quatro.

- Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.

Cinco.

-Forgiveness is different than second chances.

Sies.

-You choose who you become.

-Siete.

Youth is easy to decieve because it is quick to hope.

-Ocho.

I'm not going to be afriad of love anymore when love thinks I'm ready, It will find me.

Peace. Love. Smile.

Crazy Love

God is not above doing something drastic to get our attention. & last week He did just that. I've never seen my church get so close and continue to remain that close after. It's been such a blessing to have witnessed the wonders of the amazing man, Pastor Ken Dyal. Good things can always some out of something that seems horrible, but that is God for you. My whole outlook on the way I have approached God and the people close to my heart has changed. I for one do not worry anymore about most things.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you out; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Crazy love, that is what I have for God. This undenying love for Him, that has this fire burning in my heart. Through all that has happened this week, I give up every worry, fearful thought and prayer to Him. He is my God; the true love of my life. Even the way that I pray has changed. God knows what I'm going to pray even before I say it out loud. Then what is the point of praying to him. I want a relationship with Him that is not on me always wanting or asking Him for something; because if I do ask him to help me its like im saying that God can't handle my worldy problems, He's not that big. I have to help him out. Thats not the way I want things between me and my Heavenly Father to be anymore.

It starts now.

It's been very peaceful within my soul after I made that change. My walk with God has grown little by little and I am making huge strides. :) I want to continue this momentum.

And so it shall.

..I wanna get lost in you before I lose myself.

So much has happened in the past week;so many things on my heart, so many people hurting, praying and wishing for a mircle. My pastor is in critcal condition and I just pray for strength and hope for his family and the chuirch fmaily here at Argyle. I have never seen so many people full of love and support for Pastor Ken and his family. I know I have been in constant prayer and also getting to see the brokeness that fell upon the youth on Sunday, made me see that even though things happen, people change we are one "church" family unit. We stand as one through all of this. Either way Pastor Ken wins; he is with us or our Heavenly Father.

1. "So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your

God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you

with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

2. "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run

and not grow weary,they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 41:30

3. You will only find a few people in the world, a few people

who will tell you they love you and mean it with all

their heart. Don't forget those people who

stood by you through it all, the special few that were

there for you untill the end.

4. A heart truly in love never loses hope, but

always believes in the promise of love,

no matter how long the time, or how far the

distance

5. Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing

to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what

you have for what it is, appreciating small victories. Admiring

the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're

thankful for the thing we'll never know. At the end of the day,the

fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason

enough to celebrate.

-Meredith Grey

6. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.. it's

learning to dance in the rain.

..it's just one of those moments where everything is so clear.

In these past few days, everything is starting to become clearer.

----------

It began yesterday when my church had its annual

dessert auction and along with the lord's supper. We started out with

the youth band rockin' it out. I start feel myself getting lost within the

music, when I feel a little hand tug on my shirt, it's Ashley

one of my kindergarten students that I teach. I picked her up and she

just rested her head on my shoulder. It was amazing the power and sheer

awe that I felt in that moment, with her in my arms and in the presence

of my Lord, everything just clicked. In that moment nothing else mattered, not

my family a few rows back or my friends standing behind and beside me. This moment

was special, it was between me and my Heavenly Father.

This was it, this was what I've been waiting for. I found the very thing I was sent here to do.

The very thing my Heavenly father vowed me to live for.

It was just one of those moments where everything was so clear.

----------

Monday, March 29th, 2010.

My family has never been the the perfect family, but then again

whose family is perfect. My family has always had its downs more than

it's ups, but one thing is true about my family is that we are One Unit. In

times of need we all come together put aside our differences and

conquer the task at hand. We love each other just in our own

individual way.

-----------

Last night so many things happened; I've never seen the happiness just

eminate off of my cousin Kenny before when my grandfather told him that he

was so proud of him and his dreams.

It just takes one act of compassion and love to start a downpour of events

that will change a person, to help grow their faith into something amazing.

My grandfather told me that he was proud of me and what I've become.

He is proud of my mother for raising me to become the women I am today. Just to see

the joy and unselfish pride in he eyes and voice were enough to finalize my thoughts

on what I thought I needed to do. It set the plans in motion for me, gave me focus.

The final thing he said to me just set me on fire with wonder and amazement.

As Mikeschair sings" It takes just one spark to make the fire burn."

My grand father today told me that he is going to fix things with my mother.

Wow.

That was the moment when I think my heart broke, all the bitterness, the

hate, the discontentment I have felt over time just melted away,

leaving my heart brand new and blazing.

----------

Today is the start of a new era, a new me. And with the

help of my God, family and friends, I truely believe that anything is possible.

The sky is the limit for me now!

:)

..when I look at the Stars I feel like myself.

I believe that everything happens for a reason whether it is good or bad. To every situation the good can come out of the bad. When things seem to be falling apart all around you, just know that God has everything under control.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and through his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. -Isaiah 40:28-28.

I am the type of person who likes to have everything under control, a plan or a set time. But life does no work that way, not at all. I have had my ups and downs but I never really put my full faith in God and just let him work it out. I would over analyze, worry and live in fear about the outcome. I have learned that He will work it all out maybe not on my time schedule, but He will. Just looking back on my life a few years ago I can not imagine myself being in the place that I currently am; living without my parents present or getting the oppourtunity to be a youth leader. It is truely amazing how God took one bad situation in my life and lead me here to this place where I found who I am, want to be and my overall passion in life. I know I am only Ninteen years old but I feel truely blessed to be in this place with people like everyone at the Church of Argyle helping me and loving me.

And now to finish this off with qoutes:

1. If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably

doesn't lead anywhere.

2. You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it

leaves your arms too full to embrace

the present.

3. Everything works out in the end and the more you worry

about it the longer everything will take for things

to end perfectly; just the way they should.

4. Fate decides who enters your life. Actions decide who stays in your

life. There's no put in trying to rush fate because the

best things in life are worth the wait.

..but out of everything that has happened; love is surely the greatest

Here are some qoutes that I love:

1. I'm not fragile because I'm a girl,

I'm fragile because I'm human.

2. Treat others with respect, and never go back on your word.

You wonder why life is so screwed up sometimes,

but all that needs to be done is to fix it,

is to fix your actions.

3. Love is 12 people calling your name and the only one

you hear is his voice.

4. Look for the dream that keeps coming back. It's your destiny.

5. No camera can capture the look in her eyes and the feelings

in her heart when she is looking at him.

6. He watches over everything we see, into the water,

into the truth, in your reflection,

he lives in you.

7. Faith is believing in things that common sense tells you not too.

8. I've got no time to kill cause its now or never, cause the

way that I feel, It won't last forever,

when your at that point

in your life, it just has to be tonight.

9. Love never fails, but where prophecies they will cease;

where there are tongues. they will be filled; Where

there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we

know in part and we prophesy in part,

but when perfection comes, the imperfect

dissapears.

- 1 Corinthians 8-10

"My life in Technicolor" Symbolizes the different events, places, twists and turns my life has taken to get me here: the place where I found myself, love, friendship, sisterhood and a relationship with my heavenly father