Since starting this blog, I do not feel that I've put any of my true self within these writings. But today is the day:)
Some many things have led me to the place where I currently am. So many roads that I thought were ludicrous, that were littered with tears and laughter, I know realize were part of God's bigger picture for me. God knew what he was doing when he sent me to Florida. I've made this town my home. This place of acceptance, of love, and of friendship. So many things that lie in my path, just wanting for me to take hold and cherish. I normally would be scared, then run away but these past years have taught me to just stick with it, not give up.
These years have brought me all kinds of things but the best thing I can say my life has thrown at me has been my friends and the chance to really feel love. A love that contains passion, sincerity, and security. There have been friendships that have lasted and friendships that faded, but each one giving me something that slowly guided and built me.
It's truly amazing how God works. He give us everything we could possibly want or need. Our God provides. In this current time in my life, I have experienced God's love and grace. It's a peace that just washes over your soul leaving all the other things behind. Like tonight at work, the other girls that I work with like to talk and gossip especially now that there is big issue regarding one of my fellow hostesses. I've been trying to stay out of it and just listen. But God just spoke to me tonight and gave me the strength to just listen and realize how blessed I really am and how I do not need to be a part of that. This was a feeling I fell in love with; true peace.
We all have the one issue that stays with us always. Mine is an issue with my heart. It's been there for a year or so and seems to ever so vibrant has the first day it came into my life. I've talked to many people about it and getting perspective. In the past few weeks, God has shown up to help me handle this. So here is what I've come up with, with of course the "Big Guy Upstair's" help. I have feelings that seem to never end and in all reality I don't want them to end, That's why Ive been holding on so tightly this issue or now I can truthfully say this person.
But what else God has taught me that trust, truth and just the two people involved are the only things that really matter. A person very near dear to my heart said, That it should always be about me and him, no one else matters because they don't know how we feel about each other or what we both go through.
I've never could come out and say what my heart feels or what I'm struggling with. We all put on that mask sometimes, well mine just came off and it will stay off:)
We are not all perfect but that is why God is with us and we have His love within us always. He loves us just the way we are!! It just sometimes take something big for God to reveal Himself to us. We are definitely stubborn, but that is how God made us.
:) Well that's it for now.